Start It With a Bang! ©

When I say ‘bang’, I don’t mean watching fireworks at the stroke of midnight.  I’m talking about kicking it up a notch. Let go of those old resentful emotions that have held you back for the last fifteen years. Set free the toxic relationships that are hindering new ones. Unleash the anger that’s pining in your soul (and the target is completely oblivious about!) causing ulcers, bad eating tendencies, sleepless nights. Let it all go!

Free your mind to Possibilities! Grab hold of all those boxes containing your dreams and start going through them. Pull them out, dust them off, and get at them! You don’t want to reach your later years wearing that ragged “I could of…” T-shirt, or the “I always wanted to…” cap when you could be wearing the smile of contentment for obtaining and living your dreams.

I’ve stated my feelings toward resolutions before. Personally, I don’t make them – I set goals. As I reflect back over the year, I’m excited about the upcoming year. A few of the goals I set last year were reached and are now trickling into new goals within themselves. The snowball effect of a good habit is taking form and I’m going to let it ride. I’m going to work harder at Paying it Forward and sincerely encourage those around me to “Do!” “Be!” and “Go!”

Starting Now!

Happy New Year!

A Simple Praise ©

There’s something magical about being in New York during the Christmas season. Lampposts are decorated with wreaths and silver and gold ornaments. Storefront displays take on a whimsical façade that captures your attention for a full 90 seconds. Christmas music is piped through the outdoor speakers and in just about every store you walk in. Albeit I don’t do it often, but when the opportunity arises, I try to take advantage of it. This past weekend was one of those occasions. I went to Harlem, NY and the moment I walked out of the train station onto 125^th Street, I felt the magic.

The air was crisp and even though it was Sunday, the sidewalks were thick with activity. About a block down, hanging between every other streetlight, brightly lit starbursts lit up the way. A few more blocks down, at the corner of Lenox Ave. and 125^th a great banner of red, green, and gold garland hung proclaiming “Welcome to 125^th Street”

All this is wonderful and comforting, but doesn’t come close to what I witnessed. After the play we attended and the browsing through various stores, we made our way back to the train station. While waiting for our train, I sat and took in the sights and sounds that surrounded us. There was a man who vehemently stated that he was not homeless, but was waiting for the garbage truck to pass by. I realized this was his claim because of the signs posted throughout the station that the waiting area was for passengers only. We engaged in a brief conversation with this man and he shared his Christmas and New Year’s plans. Looking at his appearance, one might have doubted his stories of owning a house in “Belmont…no, Big Bear…” He wasn’t sure where his house was, but I accepted that he believed he had one, and that was enough for me.

After the station cleared, there was a man standing near the ticket booth. He was wearing a pair of headphones and carrying a portable CD player. He was stepping and dancing throughout the station, wrapped up in his own world of melodies. Passers-by avoided him and some pointed and snickered. I sat and watched him, curious to know what he was listening to that ignited so much joy; enough to cause him to dance so freely without concern of whom was looking. I determined that he may have had a slight mental disorder, but it didn’t matter. He sat down briefly, and accidently dropped his CD player. The CD fell out and he struggled a bit trying to pick up. Normally, I would have offered help, but I was so compelled by his next action, I stayed at bay. He knelt down, right there in the middle of the train station and praised God. He offered up kisses, kissed his CD and the player, and proceeded to put his belongings back in order. He continued to praise, with the most beautiful sincerity, “I love You God,” bowing and blowing kisses toward heaven. That’s when I got a clue to what he may have been listening to.

I felt tears well up and realized that what I was witnessing is exactly what God asks of us: Praise. The people standing around pointing and laughing probably thought this man was crazy.

Recognizing God’s mercy I said, “God honors that.”

The Value of Listening S.R. Paulk ©

Turn off everything that’s making noise. And if you’re afraid to that, go to remote place (leave your phone behind) and sit there – QUIETLY.

How many of you were unable to do that? How many were afraid they were going to miss something?

Think about how much you miss when you don’t listen…

That’s all....Carry on.

The Power of the Pen – Not so? S. R. Paulk ©

I want to start by saying that I love my country. Yes, it has its flaws here and there similar the average dysfunctional family, but just as there is still love in that family, there is love for the US. To zero in on one aspect, the beautiful law of Freedom of Speech. We can to do what others can’t in some countries and that is expressing our opinions publically.

We are in the midst of the age of Social Networking, Blogs (thank you for reading mine!), and Scroll Lines. We can write what I feel, share our opinions (whether or not it’s wanted) and not be penalized for it (generally speaking, of course). Of course, there are limitations to what can be published, posted, updated, without backlash or some variation of a slander law being broken, but you get what I’m saying (hopefully) We are protected under our constitution, and like it or not, we can say what we want, to whomever about whatever. A freedom most take for granted, me included, until I come across an article like the one I just read.

In Thailand, an American was just sentenced to two and half-years in prison for insulting the monarchy. Of course there is controversy because he is Thai-born, but considered an American, so I’m sure there will be appeals filed, etc.

Imagine living in a country where by communicating your opinion about the government, royal family, or whoever is in charge, and being jailed. I’m not talking about sitting in the county jail to cool off, but actually serve time, serious time, because you articulated your distaste of a certain bill that was passed. Consider being handcuffed, strip searched, and given an unflattering orange jumpsuit to wear because you sent a tweet disagreeing with President Obama’s plans on fixing the economy.

Because I can go on with possible scenarios (I’ll spare you…this time!) I’ll get to the point. Yes, I agree, there are many things wrong with our government, not excluding people. There are laws that need to be revised and policies that simply need to be abolished. Nevertheless, at the end of the day, our country, with all its baggage, is still, in my opinion, a great place to be….until the next election anyway J

Giving Thanks… S.R.P. ©

As the day that has been set aside to give thanks approaches, I’m pressed to encourage you not to let the concept escape when you get up from your table of plenty. As you wipe your mouth of turkey grease and sweet potato pie crumbs, do not wipe away the bountiful blessings in your life.
Short and sweet…be Thankful EVERY day, not because the calendar tells you to.

Here We Go Again! ~ S.R.P.©

As I was driving to work this morning, I was absently listening to the radio when I heard the announcer chime in through my thoughts that a handful of retailer are opening at midnight the day after Thanksgiving “…to give shoppers an advantage at more bargains.” Really? Since when are retailers concerned for consumer’s advantages? The sad and pathetic aspect is that we (the so-called broke consumer) will fall for this scheme just like we do every season; actually, “they,” because I have yet to partake in the great spending frenzy of “Black Friday”

The term “Black Friday” started as an indication that stores were profiting, in the ‘black’ and continues today. Yes, in this ostentatious society where more is more, a day is set aside to spend money. Need I remind, that money is scarce for a good percentile of our nation and yet on the 4th Friday of November, people will relinquish precious family time, which used to be the theme of Thanksgiving, and gear up to fight (figuratively and literally in many instances) for the sake of purchasing something, anything on sale. (I’ll save Cyber Monday for another time…) I shake my head in pity at the idea that life is not worthwhile unless little Johnny has the latest Playstation sitting under the tree on Christmas morning or deprived Mommy can’t get her hands on that Forman Grill with the 92 inter-changeable griddles.

In the midst of all this madness that will transpire over a 4-week span, far away in the distance is the cry for change. A small voice is heard on an obscure channel that preaches bringing the true meaning of Christmas back to the forefront. On another channel, some expert will analyze a more cost-efficient way of shopping and another will pinpoint a new spending trend. The bottom line to all these is spending. What amazes me is that none of these “One-Day Sales” and “Early Bird Specials” that begin at 3 A.M. would not and could not happen unless we, the consumer, make them so. The power of the dollar is in the hand of its holder. The consumer is responsible for the millions of dollars in profit retailers report just days after that infamous Friday.

Gone are the days where traditions were held dear like the family going out together to pick out a tree, which was always too big for the living room. Sitting around the kitchen/dining table helping in some capacity with the Christmas dinner and reminiscing about past Christmases only happens occasionally. Core values have evaporated along with the whipped topping on a trendy $6 cup of hot chocolate that you must buy and be seen drinking while you’re at the mall or you’re not “In” and all the other Soccer-Gymnastics-Basketball-Cheerleader Moms will banish you from their reindeer games and the next bake sale.

I have an idea, how about explaining to your children and family members that you’re in debt (honestly) and that this year you’re giving them the gift that keeps on giving…compassion. What would happen if you start a “new” tradition that focuses on what matters? I don’t know, something like getting to know your friends and family? I mean spending true quality time with them and allowing them to see you, laugh with you, or dine with you. Remember life before everything and everyone was digital? You TALKED with people, not read their texts and status postings. You knew what was happening in their lives because you used meet for dinner, at each other’s houses and could see in their eyes something was going on, good, bad, or disastrous. Instead of sending mass text messages, stop by, or call and TELL your loved ones “MERRY CHRISTMAS” (not this politically correct Happy Holidays crap…don’t get me started with that one!)

I encourage you to re-think this season. Think outside the expensively wrapped gift box and dig into your family’s treasure box. Learn how to make Grandma’s pineapple coconut cake (I’m trying my hand at my mother’s sweet potato pie again!) Reconnect with the ones you love and disconnect from your Berries, Droids, and anything i-related. Give of yourself this season, not of your wallet. Your loved-ones will love your more for it…and for those that don’t appreciate it, they’ll catch on next year when they realize they’re in the ‘red’ on ‘black’ Friday.

Dollars and Sense ©

Over the weekend I watched a report on, surprise, the US economy. What caught my eyes ears was the mention of three major corporations and a television studio.

The drab and depressing fact about US’s money problems have been “Hot Topics” for a couple of years now. Most recently, the debt ceiling – “To Raise or Not to Raise” was the question. The answer came in a down-to-the-wire decision to, of course, raise it. Nobody was happy about, but most agreed it was necessary. Democrats and Republicans alike have been walking around in a pseudo state of contentment claiming there was no “winner” and that each side compromised.

Without sounding like the many analysts that have been creeping and crawling around on the airwaves, it all sounds like a territory war at the local playground. Republicans want what they want, Democrats want what they want, and the president wants what he wants. Ironically, nobody wants what the people want. Whatever that is, I don’t anyone knows anymore.

I will admit that it was frightening to hear that our government is broke. That it would not be able to financially support its citizens had a decision not been made was disheartening. In a matter of hours, checks would be cancelled, funding dried up. For the average American, we know what it means to write that check to pay a bill and panic when our direct deposit doesn’t reach our account, but for the richest country, this sounds absurd. How can a country, no, how can America be in this situation?

The bottom line (if you can find it) is wasteful, over-spending. We’ve all heard the reports regarding the amounts spent for the war. The war that was not ours to fight (personal opinion) the monies given to other countries (when our own are living at poverty levels) and other expenses that should bring shame, but doesn’t. Well, now it does because it’s all out in the open, sort of. Of course we will never know the exacts, there are individuals who are actually paid a salary to make sure we don’t. I’ll leave that alone…

Back to my initial point, the piece held my attention because it mentioned Apple, GE, Pfizer, and CBS combined has a net worth higher than the US. Apple alone has a cash value higher than our government. Yes, cash value. Meaning, accessible funds at their fingertips, ready for spending. Not stock or solid assets, actual cash sitting in their banks.

I leave that as an ending…maybe you can make sense of it.

Liberty Up Close...(snippet)

We must’ve been having a great time because I hadn’t noticed the distance we covered. Over the music the DJ announced, “The Statue of Liberty is just outside for anybody who wants to take a picture!” I looked out the window where I had seen it before, but couldn’t see anything. I walked around to the other side, and still saw nothing. Finally I walked up to the row of windows at the front of the ship and there she was, just a few feet away. I gasped. I was caught off guard completely at the majesty of it. I looked around quickly, hoping nobody was watching me and thankfully, no one was. They were all jumping around, beers or drinks in one hand, the other raised in a pumping fist shouting, “USA! USA! USA!” I peeked out the window again, hoping for the same effect as the first glance. I twirled around and told my friend that I wanted a picture and we hurried upstairs to the balcony.

We stepped outside and there she was, bigger than life, holding that torch I had seen millions of times in photos and in movies. It was like I could reach out and touch her we were so close. Emotions caught in my throat I just looked up and stared as we slowly coasted by. I didn’t hear the music or see the other people that were out there snapping pictures. I was transfixed. I snapped a few pictures myself and my friend took a couple of pictures too, which made me feel less of a tourist. We went back downstairs, and I find myself fighting back tears. Tears? Where was this coming from? I’m grateful for the darkness and loud music because I couldn’t explain this. I didn’t want to explain it. My friend was talking to me, but I don’t remember what she was saying. I finally yell back, “I can’t believe I’m so emotional about seeing the Statue of Liberty!” She put her hand on my shoulder, a reassuring sign that she understood and wasn’t judging. We stand there and a few minutes watching the others dance and we’re laughing and dancing, but I’m still thinking about her; Lady Liberty.

My friend went back to the dance floor and I sat on the window sill watching, still full f emotion. I turned to look out the window, and there she was again, on my side. The ship had turned around and I didn’t even realize. I stood up and leaned against the window, watching her. My friend had come back and was talking to me and realizing I was caught up she said laughing, “I’m sorry, I’ll let you have your moment.” I laughed back and told her I was fine, “I don’t want your co-workers thinking I’m a sloppy drunk.” We both laugh and turn back to look out the window. Shocked that I’m this emotional, and more surprised that it’s effecting me this way. I was proud. In that moment a surge of content pride swept over me. I thought about the lives that had been sacrificed for me to stand there. I thought about the marches, the strikes, the beatings, and the silent suffering that went on so that I could walk, work, and live freely. All things I had taken for granted.

In that moment I realized just how blessed I am to live here, with all that I have. Yes, our government is corrupt and gas prices are out of control. Groceries are expensive and rents are unaffordable, but I am here. Free.

What Happened? ©

This has the potential of going in many different directions, so I apologize in advance.

During my morning commute, because my car stereo is pretty standard, (radio only) I’m left with very few choices for my listening pleasure. One of the stations I tune to sometimes, does their version of a TV court show. The wife calls into the station, shares her gripe about her husband/boyfriend with the personalities and all the thousands of listeners. The personality in turn, calls the husband blindly and confronts him with the issue. Of course, the initial reaction from the husband, and in my opinion rightfully so, is an anger-laced shock that their wives have aired their business out for all to know. The ‘cases’ have ranged from common stuff; not wanting to have fun anymore, leaving the bathroom light on, to what I consider as subjects that should totally remain in the home or a real Divorce Court. Such was the case on today’s show.

A woman called into the radio station and gave details of her recent discovery of a secret bank account belonging to her husband. A statement came to their home containing only his name that she opened and proceeded with a full-fledged investigation. Upon her snooping, she learned purchases were made at a trendy lingerie store (the secret is out!) I’m sure you can tell where this went. The husband explained his reasons for opening the account, that the lingerie was bought as a favor to a colleague, (and of course she demanded more answers,) and the radio hosts opened the phone lines for the listeners to give their opinion (I changed the station at this point)

Now, call me old-fashion, but what happened to dignity? Have we lost so much of ourselves that any attention is acceptable? As mentioned, I didn’t hear what the callers had to say, but I heard the husband’s frustration loud and clear. Behind his forced politeness was bitterness, and the wife’s venom was apparent from the beginning, and it continued.

I don’t know, call me crazy, but people have truly lost it. Whatever ‘it’ was that held families together and problems were discussed with sincerity without a Prime Time audience is gone. Whatever that thing was that triggered their love for each other to override the urge to act out on a national level for the sake of ratings; on the radio or TV.

And they wonder why there’s no sense of family (or individual) values…

Things I’ve Learned…©

There are lessons learned the traditional way, with planned assignments, tests, and studying. Then there are those that come unexpected, more in a “Pop-Quiz” kind of way; these are undoubtedly more intriguing and perhaps harder to absorb.

The lesson can be in Life, Love, Finance, Family, etc. Those are the heavy hitters, I call those the Majors (i.e. college) Then there are those I consider the Electives, they appear to be pointless, but you need them to complete the curriculum; Laundry, Packing…you know, the things that need some type of methodical logic to them, but not enough that will alter your life in a huge way.

Whether you Major in Life, Family, or in any of the core disciplines, you have to master them. This takes studying, dedication, and the aforementioned occasional test. Recently, I encountered a Family exam, and it was a hard lesson. Of course, I have taken a few exams before in this course and thought I had done pretty well. Unfortunately (unfortunate…still wondering about that) I realized that I was giving myself a biased curve. What I thought were common-sense realities, turned out to be jaded pretenses.

It dawned on me that I don’t have to be the Captain of the Clean-Up Crew, but instead a friendly helper. As a Captain, I’m all out of cleaner; the cleaner, being a metaphor for answers and solutions. I don’t have to swoop in, fix it, and fly back to home base.

I’ve put my cape in storage.

What I’ve learned: Let go, and Let God!

Your thoughts create your reality….

We’ve heard the old saying “You are what you eat” and it has been proven to be true. The same is true of our thoughts, what we think and believe becomes our reality. When we focus on the negative, the dark, the disappointing, we find ourselves in a world filled with such entities and people. I’m sure you can recall situations in your life when you were in the midst of some heavy happenings and thought the worst for the outcome. When the worst come about, you probably gave a cynical nod and said “I knew it.”

I’ve learned, and yes it is a constant lesson, that we must believe the Good in order for it to take place in our lives. The Bible states clearly in Proverbs 18 that there is power in the tongue. Not just the power to give great speeches, but of life and death. Since our words are products of our mind, of what we think, it makes sense that our thoughts should be guarded and protected from the grudge and grime of every day life.

I recommend to anyone who reads this: Protect Your Mind.

I Found My Place…

How many times have I heard people talking about their “Aha!” moment? There have been shows designated to this revelation, books, and countless articles. I got the concept and understood its euphoric impact…or so I thought.

I attended a WordShop on worrying and how to overcome being hurt. I suppose being in a group setting I only heard the lesson, but it wasn’t until I was alone that the words settled. Recalling what had been said and shared, I took a glimpse into my own situations. I looked at the scenarios going on in my life and realized that I have some work to do.

This morning I woke up and went directly into my day. Not in the usual manic rush to get the day started, but with a purpose. I needed some alone time, and I needed it desperately. I haven’t made me a priority in a while and felt the need to do this morning. I needed to pray and be in the presence of His peace. The chaos of living was creeping into my spirit and I knew it would be a matter of time before it would engulf me. Yes, today was needed and I’m glad I listened to that small still voice.

After reading and meditating, I decided to clear out some of the recording on my DVR. I watched Friday’s Oprah which was about her greatest lessons learned. All very inspiring but it wasn’t until Toni Morrison came on that I experienced the tingling everyone had been talking about. That moment when something is said, that ultimately changes your viewpoint and causes that “Aha” factor in your life. Ms. Morrison said she has a place that is all hers…a place that she owns, and that place exist when she’s working. Her writing is her place, she created it, the people are hers and so is the language.

Aha!

When she spoke those words, I got chills and tears welled up in my eyes. It was an answer to a basic question, but was so profound. She said that everyone needs a place like that, in whatever it is that brings them joy, peace, contentment…a place – spiritually, mentally – that they can say they own.

I grabbed a pencil and an index card and wrote her words down. I had to rewind the episode a few times because I wanted to make sure I wrote it down correctly. As I wrote the message down, more tears fell. I had not been able to express what I felt when I write…when I do what I enjoy – and that was it. When I’ve helped someone through counseling, guiding, etc…that’s what I feel – comfortable because I’m in My Place.

Do you have “A Place?’ If you don’t, what will it take to get there?

On the “Outs”©

We are living in a time where the word “Outsource” (and anything related to it) is a four-letter word. The economy isn’t the only culprit of lost jobs. Just mention the word in a group setting and you’re guaranteed a heated debate on the subject. It’s similar to life changing situation, you either have had firsthand experience with it, or you know someone who has.

Many companies, for various reasons (we know the main one is money), have opted to send general operations overseas. Whatever was done via call centers, customer service departments, etc. is now being performed in some renovated space in India. Sure, the bottom line for the company has been saved, but the person whose desk no longer exist is now unemployed and a dependant of the State. Moreover, the lethargic cycles begins and ends – nonstop.

I understand the idea of companies wanting to saving money, but at what point is the line drawn? The laws, if you want to call them that, are so vague and disguised that it’s impossible to enforce the stipulations that are attached to them. So many pockets are being lined with the revenue outsourcing generates; nearly no one is willing to crack down on its requisites.

Additionally, I get the anger of the people outsourcing effects, but again, there is a line for them as well. The company decides to dismantle an entire department; it may or may not offer a severance. Granted, there aren’t many options in regards to finding another job, but how productive is it to sit at home hating the company you’ve worked for six years or more? Your name was forgotten the moment you pulled out of the company’s parking garage. They’ve moved on, literally, and you should too.

Before anyone gets his or her knickers in a bunch, I want to stress that I’m not bashing the victim. I’ve been there, and it was not a great feeling. However, what I am emphasizing is the victim should not continue in role of a victim. Jobs come and go. Outsourcing just happens to be the forerunning reason now.

It’s Been a While…

So much has happened; I wasn’t sure what to write about first. So, I’ll just flow to get back in the groove. To say that I’ve been busy is an understatement and I won’t go into why and with what…not yet anyway, let’s just say it’s been a while and I’m back!

I’ll touch on a topic that’s been tiptoeing on my nerves for a couple of weeks now: Complaining. We all do it, some more than others (A LOT more!) When I hear it in the distance, I’m able to avert my attention and block it out. Then there are those times when it’s up close and personal. This calls for more work on my mental and that’s when I get annoyed. I work hard on the regular, and someone else’s erratic behavior causes me to work harder gets under my skin.

Our country is still involved with a war, there are countries fighting against a regime for their freedom and their basic rights as citizens. There have been catastrophic events where thousands of lives were lost, cities destroyed, I can go on, but I’ll stop there and save it for another entry. With all of that going on, and that’s just a drop in the bucket in regards to world affairs, there are people who actually sit and complain about why the cafeteria doesn’t slice the cherry tomatoes. (??) My blood is starting to boil just thinking about the conversation again.

A woman I work with carried on for about a week complaining about the cafeteria’s lack of understanding for people who prefer their tomatoes sliced, diced, or simply cut in half. I tried really hard to ignore her, because she wasn’t actually talking to me. But her conversation carried over to my desk. To keep from butting in, I adjusted my earplugs and turned up my music. By the third day of her ranting, I guess she felt she didn’t have a big enough audience so she sauntered over to my desk and began her recitation. I stopped her in the middle of the second sentence with one question: “Why don’t you just bring your own lunch?” Instead of answering, she stared at me. Enjoying the silence, I proceeded to ask her how much had she gotten done since her Tomato Crusade, and how much energy had she wasted re-telling her story. I reminded her of the thousands of people that were killed in Japan, who will never be able to eat another tomato.

She turned and walked back to her desk. I haven’t heard anymore about slicing tomatoes or anything for that matter from her. That was about a week ago. ©

Things I’ve learned…©

There have been times when all I wanted to do was BE STILL. Everything was swirling around me at top speed and I had nothing to hold on to…but God.

But God – that was the answer. In the midst of every situation; good, bad, or indifferent, His provision was right there anchoring my sanity. I’ve read constantly that we are to Praise Him in EVERY circumstance, even when we don’t feel like it (a Sacrificial Praise)

Now, some people hear the word “Praise” and think they’ve got to shout and scream or run laps around a church. Praise is YOUR way of giving honor to God. Praise can be sitting quietly and offering up a Prayer of Thanks. Praise can be telling God how much you love Him and how much you appreciate what He has done and is doing in your life. Singing a song of Praise can be a form even if you can’t sing like The Clark Sisters (or just one of the Sisters!)

The Word says God inhabits the praises of His people. Think about that for a minute (or longer…) God inhabits in our Praises; He dwells, lives in, and resides in…our Praise! Imagine every time you open your mouth and give a sincere Praise to God – He stops and takes notice! Not only does our Father take notice, but also He stays a while!

I read that when Praise becomes a lifestyle, it has a domino effect. So, you Praise God for His goodness and others will His goodness in you and will be inspired to show goodness to someone else, and so on…(let that marinate…)

What I’ve Learned: The point is not what or how you Praise, just so long as you do it!

Things I’ve Learned (A possible series) ©

Walking around carrying ‘stuff’ isn’t good for your health. I recently felt myself creeping into that place where I have trouble sleeping, staying focused, and even have trouble breathing.

I sat down in a quiet place and wrote down everything I could think of that brought on this anxiety. I tried to leave them on the paper as I thought about them because some of them were still fresh. I could still taste them. After completing the list (yes, it was a list of them) I walked away to make some coffee. I returned with my favorite mug in hand and read through the collection that had become the culprit of my restlessness. I discovered 99 % of it didn’t belong to me!

I read each item aloud and as the words slipped from my lips, the realization became clearer with each syllable. It wasn’t mine! Issues with missed doctor’s appointment, problems with old flames, mortgage companies, sibling interference, and uncooperative neighbors, none of these belonged to me. Not only did they not belong to me, but really had very little to do with me.

I had served in the capacity of a sounding board for most and had subconsciously taken on each as my own. I had been carrying them around, juggling them and even lost sleep trying to figure them out while the rightful owners went on their merry way. Well, maybe not merry but close to it. Meanwhile, I’m irritable and snippy.

Well, I’m giving it all back - ALL of it! I’ll help when I can. I’ll listen when it’s needed, but I’m not taking it with me. I’m all for helping and guiding, but I have to learn (re-learn) how to help and not to load myself up with the problems of others.

So don’t be surprised if you open your door and find a small package.

Resolutions Anyone?

It's day 2 of the New Year and what have you accomplished so far? Have you kept your Resolutions? How many pounds have you lost? Is your life organized? Have you found TRUE love?

If your answer is No, don't worry. You still have time to accomplish. I read recently the average person has broken their set resolutions within 3 months. So technically, you have until March. That's when the 'Real Resolutions' kick in.

I thought I'd start the year off not with Resolutions, but 'Realistic Thinking' This fits my way of living better than some list I've spent weeks or days agonizing over. I've decided to Set Goals rather than cross out an item on a list I'd probably lose after while; only to find it years later and wonder what was I thinking (!)

Call me old fashion, but I haven't shared them with anyone (and I don't plan to do so now!) but I will say that This, what I'm doing now, is among the Goals I've set for the New Year (That’s it, no more sharing!)

The idea of my 'Realistic Thinking' is to one, not drive myself crazy trying to keep up with everybody else's idea of "Starting Fresh" Second, is to stay consistent to my mental process, as in not conforming, and third is to keep it REAL with me. There are enough advertisement telling what gym to join, what diet to try, what bank to open an account and invest with, and so on…

The first of the year launches a plethora of campaigns all geared at pulling you on some kind of bandwagon disguised as a ‘Fresh Start’ or ‘New Beginning’ Well, I’m not falling for it and I hope you don’t either. I invite you to be True to You. Set Goals, real ones, and work hard at reaching them. Journal them, don’t just them. Give them a meaning and life. Make them a part of your daily routine and once you’ve reached one (or however many you’ve set) set more. And don’t be a punk about it, make them challenging!

I've been thinking about a clever way to tell those annoying individuals that come up to me with a power shake in their grips asking what my Resolutions are. As dieting is clearly one of theirs (and everybody else's) I've decided to comment with a mere smile and a polite quip: "Being Real"

Happy New Year!